2WW sucks!

Today I'm 7dp3dt. The wait is torture. I don't have any symptoms except my sore boobs. I wonder if I'm supposed to feel anything, but I don't. It just feels like I could be getting my period soon. I've been searching the web for information on when is the best time to test for pregnancy. One girl had said on her blog that if you test too soon you could either be heartbroken because of a false negative or you could be wondering if the faint positive you'll get is due to the HCG hormone still lingering in your system. It's a lose lose situation. So I am really doing my best not to test. It's killing me!! I think this whole process is so out of one's control, that makes us go nuts. The earliest I told myself I'll test is Friday.... but I don't know if I can hold on until then. Hmmmm to POAS or not to POAS....
I can't believe I still have O N E - W H O L E - W E E K to get my beta. What should I do to keep myself busy? I know! I could try to concentrate at work! blah! that's impossible.... I can focus my attention for 5 minutes and then I find myself wondering around the web, trying to read about success IVF stories.... this is so much harder than I though.

Oh, I also have to give an update about my left over embryos. Well, the clinic called me and told me that none of the embryos survived day 5 so we had nothing left to freeze. :-( I was pretty heart broken. I am praying so hard that the ones they transferred are well tucked in my uterus by now. Please God, take care of my babies!!

Anyway, I'll try to stay busy and away from those pregnancy tests as long as I can.... wish me luck! ;-)

back from transfer

Our transfer was scheduled for 1:45 pm, so we arrived at 12:45 pm. I started drinking my water, because they say that it's better to have a full bladder for the transfer. They got me all prepared and I was sitting on my comfy recliner chair by 1:00 pm, and so I continued to drink my water. DH also got ready with his scrubs (he looked so handsome:-) ) and hair net and mask. by 1:45 pm I had a pretty full bladder and there was no sign of the doctor yet. A doctor was supposed to come by to tell us how many embryos there were and what was going to happen. Also the embryologist had to stop by... 2:15 pm... nothing. I was about to explode. I asked one of the nurses how much longer it would be. She said "sorry we are running late, it'll be 10 more minutes" so I decided (nurse said it was OK) to half empty my bladder. I was afraid to pee too much, so I probably only emptied it 1/4 lol. Once the doctor came to talk to us I wanted to pee again, but I decided to hold it.... after all, it was only another 20 minutes (transfer only takes about 5 minutes and then they make you lay on your back for about 10 minutes. The transfer itself was pretty good. I didn't feel too bad cramps or sore. They transferred 2 embryos back and told us they will let us know how the other 3 are doing on Thursday so that we know how many they'll freeze.

This is the picture they gave us of the two embryos they transferred. It's so weird, but I already love them so much and just want the best for them!



Pregnancy test (first beta) is scheduled for August 6th. It's going to feel like an eternity!!! 

Egg retrieval and results

We had our egg retrieval on Saturday morning. We had to arrive 1 hour before our appointment. Once we arrived the nurses started preparing me, signing more forms, IV with antibiotic, and husbands sperm "donation" ;-)  By this time, my ovaries felt so swollen, that it was hard to walk. It was also hard to pee. Once they took me in for the retrieval I was ready. The operation room was pretty intimidating. I got myself in position, and with the help of the nurses, hanged my legs up in the air. Before I could think twice, the oxygen mask was on and they said I would be sleeping in no time. I closed my eyes and was gone!
I woke up back on my bed next to my husband and the nurse asking me how I felt. They gave me some pills (don't ask me what they were) and let me rest for a little bit. I had a heating pad on my belly also. I had made it. Once I was a bit more awake I asked the nurse: "how many?" she responded: "7". I was pleased. They also assured me that it was a good number.
They let us go after a couple of hours. I was on bed rest for the rest of the day. I had some cramping and discomfort, but the pain killers did work.

On Sunday afternoon they called me with the results. Out of the 7 eggs retrieved 5 had fertilized. Again, the doctor who called me said this was a good number, so I was happy. We have 5 "babies"!

Our embryo transfer is tomorrow. They have to call me to let me know the time and the exact place. All we can do now is keep on praying.

Trigger shot day!

Finally! tonight, at 12:45 I will be triggering. Everything at today's consult went well. I have now a total of 12 follicles of good size and my E2 levels are 2,639. The nurse said my cycle is looking pretty good :-) I hope this is it!! ER will be on Saturday at 10:45 am and she said, most likely I will have a 3 day transfer, but they won't know for sure until Sunday when they call me to tell me how many eggs fertilized.
I'm going to look at the videos to prepare the HCG shot again. Last time we watched them was when we went to our IVF class back on April, so we need to refresh our minds. The nurse already marked my butt with an "X" on both checks to show my husband the area he has to shoot for lol :D One more big injection for me, I hope it doesn't hurt so bad.
This is really it now, homestretch for us on our first IVF cycle. Please God, let this be or chance!

CD13

Hello there!

Yesterday's sono results showed 7 follicles, 3 on my right ovary and 4 on the left ovary. They are ranging between 17- 12mm and 13- 14 mm, so the nurse said I am not ready yet, as the average of the size of the follicles has to be at least 18 mm. I wasn't too happy with the results. Seven follicles seems so little :-( and they are not where they are supposed to be size wise. I have to admit I was upset to hear this... plus I am out of Ganirelix as of today, so I'm only on Gonal F at night time and that's it. The nurse assured me that it was ok not to have the Ganirelix, as this  medicine is to help the cycle be longer (better egg quality) but since I was "almost" there I could continue with the stims (Gonal F) and they could just do ER at 34 hours vs. 36 hours. I don't know. Something about me runing out of meddicine just doesn't seem right. But I have no choice. I have done everything I can and the outcome is on God's hands now. All I can do is keep praying for the best.

I have to go back tomorrow morning for bloods and ultrasound. I think they'll tell me to trigger tomorrow night which would mean a 7 am Saturday ER.

I will post the results tomorrow after the nurse calls me.

Wish me luck!!

more injections, more blood tests, more ultrasounds...

Hello!

Happy Monday!
Today is CD 11 and I have to go back for more blood work and sono tomorrow. I find it frustrating that I don't know the number of follicles I have or anything (yesterday the nurses were not at the office anymore when they called so they didn't have that information). On top of that I am running out of Ganirelix (morning shot), I only have one more day of medicine, and this medication is on a national back order... so I am trying to get the prescription override with my insurance company so that I can try to get if from another pharmacy. Not fun. The nurse says I may not need it. Depending on tomorrow's results I might get my trigger shot tomorrow evening. Let's pray that this is the case, otherwise I may not have medicine for Wednesday morning.

These past weekend I have felt a bit bloated and emotionally crazy. I know my husband thinks I have lost it. I go from yelling at him for stupid things, to completely sweet and nice. Even my dog looks at me in a funny way. Good grief. I am pretty bossy normally but this is absurd. I hope we are done soon so that my poor husband can have a break. I say a break becasue if I am like this now, I may drive him completely nuts when I am pregnant.

We are also trying to plan a trip to go visit my parents, but we don't know if we should go on September or October... or maybe not travel at all. We think we would either be pregnant first trimester or trying for IVF #2 (... I hope it'll be the first :-) ) so we don't know what's best. My mom is actually planning to come at the end of November, so maybe we can just wait and I could go back with her and my dad (who will be here for Christmas too) in January.

Anyway... I will let you all know how tomorrow goes. Thanks for reading!

day 7 bloods

I went to have a blood test this morning, to check my E2 levels. I just got a call back from the doctor's office letting me know that I should decrease the Gonal F dosage to 112.5 tonight (I was on 225). I asked the nurse if that was good or bad, she said it was good, but I don't know what to think. I'm afraid I am over stimulating my ovaries but they don't want to tell me... why wouldn't they? they are supposed to tell me, right? hmmm. Anyway, tomorrow morning I have to start with the Ganirelix (Antagon) and I have to go back to get blood work and ultra sound. Tomorrow afternoon I should know more about my progress. Fingers crossed everything is good!!!

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello everyone!

I am sorry for not writing... I have been busy at work and honestly don't know where time went.

Today is Wednesday... wow, already?!... oh boy... anyway, where was I? Oh yes, my Saturday baseline.
So Saturday came along, and the baseline sonogram was the most uncomfortable one I've had so far. It also took longer than expected. At the end of it, my husband and I went for a nice breakfast and then drove off to Cape Cod. We've never been there and had a really good time, especially after I got the call from the nurse at 1:00 pm saying that everything looked good and that I could start my Gonal F shots that evening. Apparently my cyst is still there but it got smaller, so I got the green light to start my shots. I was so happy!. I definitely could enjoy the rest of the day much better.

Saturday night when we got back I prepared everything: alcohol swabs: check, cleaning and disinfecting all surfaces: check,  washing my hands: check, getting the Gonal F pen out: check, preparing the needle: check, priming the pen (first time use): check, adjusting the correct dosage: check, rubbing belly with alcohol swab: check.... and then, all I had to do was poke myself.... the time had come, here I was, holding the pen in one hand and my belly roll in other... and then... I couldn't do it!. My husband wanted to help anyway so he was more than happy to do the honors.It wasn't that bad, but I couldn't even look!! Sunday night I had to be brave and learn how to do it myself. Once the morning shots start, my husband won't be able to help and he would be at work. So Sunday we went through the same preparation process and when the time came, I did it. I didn't even thought about it, I just went for it. I think my desire to be a mom is much grater than my fear or needles : ) I was proud of myself : )

Today is my last evening of Gonal F before going to get blood work tomorrow. I don't know what they have to check for, but then they'll let me know what to do next. I think they'll tell me either to continue what I'm doing, increase the dosage, decrease the dosage or add the morning shot (Ganirelix). I am praying day and night for my body to do what it's supposed to do. Please God, give me a baby (s) soon! please!

I'll try to do a better job at posting. Thanks a lot for reading my journey!

The waiting continues

Well, here I am. Friday July 6th. I went for my baseline sono yesterday morning and later on I got the nurse's call, telling me that I had to go back for another baseline once I get full flow AF (period). As of yesterday I was just spotting and I guess the doctor wants to re-check once I get my period. I asked if the cyst was gone. The nurse's response was: "well, it got smaller.... but it still there". I don't know what that means! Am I supposed to worry about that? would I need surgery? would I be able to start my IVF cycle this time? No answers. After I hanged up the phone I cried. I felt so frustrated with my own body. There is nothing I can do, there is no magic formula that will make my body react the way it's supposed to. I feel helpless. I send my husband a text message and told him what the doctor had said. He seems to have a much more positive attitude than me. He is sure everything will be fine, and he said not to worry. When he got home I was actually mad at him becasue he was not worried (crazy, huh?). We talked and he made me realize I don't have to worry before the second baseline. He knows that sooner or later, this will happen for us. I just want it to happen NOW, you know?
So today I got full flow period, so I called the doctor's office and scheduled my baseline for tomorrow morning.
All I can do right now is pray and have faith, just like my husband, that everything will be fine.